“It’s not the meaning of life you seek but your aliveness, once you have that the meaning of life is obvious” Joseph Campbell
Our minds can spend a long time trying to work out where to invest our efforts, in fact if you have a philosophical mind like me you can regularly take yourself down pretty deep rabbit holes trying to work out the meaning of life, sometimes struggling to get out. Usually because there is no inherent meaning.
I do however think it is useful to have a take on life, a definition of success, if only for the purpose of helping you direct your energy. So you can rest assured that you will get to the end of life and say that was a life well spent.
I have spent quite some time thinking about how best to spend my time. Writing out my values, seeking to define life itself but to me everything comes back to two things:
A life well spent is one of:
Wellbeing and aliveness (what the quote above is alluding to- taking them time to be, feel and experience)
Fulfilment and purpose (a decision of where to spend our time and invest our energy outside of ourself that feels fulfilling and has a sense of purpose)
To men these two acts summarise the flow of energy in and out- the flow of life. At the end of the end one thing we do know is that we are made up of a trillion cells and driving it all is energy.
When I think about this further I come back to what I call the triad of connection. I believe that everything comes back to connection. Our happiest and most fulfilling moments, the ones that feel like life is worth living, when are cells are vibrating. It is usually moments at the intersection of the I, the WE and the IT.
I being a connection with self
WE being a connection with others
IT being connected to something greater than ourselves, which can overlap with our purpose and making the world a better place
A lack of connection across the I, WE and IT has been linked to loneliness, disease and a lack of resonance within the body. Hence why scholars tell you instead of chasing happiness, to chase fulfilment through wellbeing and purpose. The I, the WE and the IT. Therefore maximising our energy in these three domains will help us maximise life.
One of the exercises I ask my new clients to do when helping them think about where to spend their time is to write their ideal eulogy. In sharing this with me there is always a sense of the triad at play. People want to:
a) Enjoy, experience and feel good in themselves and their life
b) Feel and experience loving relationships
c) Do something worthwhile or something that they feel contributed to making the world a better place.
When we break this down further ie into activities that they can spend their time on in order to live a good life there usually come up with versions of the same thing:
I - connection with self- wellbeing- seeking to enjoy the present moment, nutriotion, exercise, nature etc
WE- connected with loved ones
IT- doing something worthwhile for others be it raising a afmily, growing a purpose driven business or contributing to a worthy cause.
The I, the WE and the IT.
I encourage you tot think about a life well spent, maybe write that eulogy, connect it to the I, WE and IT and then think about the elements of your life that overlap this.
You may also wnat to track your time against your time categories and make sure that you don’t just think about a good life but you work hard to create one, aligned with the I, the WE and the IT.
I promise you from here that the rest will take care of itself!
